How To Pray

I've always been the type of pray-er who is afraid to ask for specific things from God. I don't know if I'm afraid that he won't answer me the way I want and I will be let down or if I'm just really concerned about praying for things that are within his will for my life. I think it's a little of both. Recently while hearing scripture from the book of John I realized that we need to ask for WHAT WE WANT! Jesus said that what we pray for in His name will be granted to us because God wants us to be happy. This was a revelation for me. I started praying, "God help me see how I can go to Crown so that I can learn more about you and the Bible." I felt good. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. God really does want me to be happy!

But I just Googled 'praying for specific things' and am right back where I started.

"Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything ACCORDING TO HIS WILL, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him." (1 John 5:14)

So how do I know if I am praying in accordance with his will? And is it his will that I go to Crown? I wish I hadn't read that. I feel like I had a whole new lease on faith and now I'm right back where I started. I'm back to praying in hope, not in faith.

Jesus said,

"Ask that your joy may be complete"

But James said,

"You ask for something but do not get it because you ask for it for the wrong reason-for your own pleasure."

I'm so confused...

Ugh...

Today we had a meeting with the man who is buying the Dinner Theatre. He said that everyone will be terminated and then need to re-interview. I don't think this bodes well for us. To me it seems like a person would only do that if they were planning on cleaning house. He hinted that most of us would be able to keep our jobs but this just can't be good. I'll just keep my head down and do what I can to go up and above what's expected of me.

A Bad Day Turned Good

I was having such a bad week. I wasn't hearing back about the job I interviewed for and I have no idea what I am going to do about school. I was getting really down when I decided instead of asking God, "What do you want from me?!?!" I should be asking Him, "What do you want FOR me?"

I really felt like things were starting to come together. I have felt so incredibly useless since I lost my job. I suppose that is normal. A person probably goes through the same stages of grief as they do when they suffer a real loss. Because it is a REAL loss dang it! I seem to have been stuck on the 'depression' stage for a while now. You have all sorts of security one moment and the next moment...you find yourself with no reason to get up in the morning. Nothing to look forward to in your day.

Then finally I got this interview at the Chan Dinner Theatre. I knew the woman doing the interview and there is an employee under her who knows me well and who, more importantly, knows my work ethic. He told her that she's be crazy not to hire me. She also said some very promising things about a possible great fit at the end of our interview. She left me with promises to get back to me at the beginning of this week.

As Monday came and went I wasn't too worried. Come Tuesday I was really expecting a call. Every time the phone rang I was sure it would be about the job.

Wednesday, today...I started to panic. I thought for sure that she decided to hire someone else and was just afraid to tell me. Finally as I was getting out of the shower I heard the phone ring and the answering machine pick up. It was the Chan Dinner Theatre! It turns out the reason she didn't call sooner is that she wasn't at work the last two days!

I was so relieved when she offered me the job! I can't wait to start. And the great thing about working in the box office at the theater is that I get to...have to...see every show they produce!

What a terrible perk. How can they do that to their employees?....

: )

You know what would be weird?

If we were made of cloth.

If I were a piece of luggage...

What would I look like?

More things about me you may or may not have known

20. I once had to visit the ER in Waconia because I got a hair stuck wrapped around my tongue. It was Halloween. Weird.

21. I love chicken. It's so versatile.

22. My favorite season is fall because my conservative dress style fits the best. I wear sweaters even in the summer. Like the picture here shows. --->

23. I wish I could paint clouds but I'm so afraid to try because I know I won't be able to make them as beautiful on canvas as they are in real life.

24. I'm very weepy. Mom asked me today if I had raging hormones but I feel pretty even keel...except that I feel like I could cry at a moments notice. I cried when Regis and Kelly gave away a trip. They give someone the chance to win one every day! It's so generous. I just can't stand it!

25. I've always wanted to live in a castle. Nothing huge. I'm not fussy.

26. I love color but almost always buy neutral colored clothes so they will all match everything I already own.


27. I'm a lot less compassionate than I would like to be.

28. Just when you think you can't get fatter...you gain 50 lbs.

29. All the women in my family got married at 19 (those who are married that is) except my sister (and my now-cousin Abbie). She waited until she was 20. I'm the black sheep.

Another Update (I haven't blogged in so long I can't fit it all into one post!)

I missed the last day of registration for school last Thursday thanks to being ill. A few people told me that Crown would most likely accept late registration, which had already occurred to me, but I was also not able to finalize my loan. I was really disappointed by this but was too sick to fix it. Not only would tuition be due at the end of this week but I know it would be impossible for me to get around campus and stand in line at the bookstore and do all the things that would be needed in order to start this semester (not to mention sitting in class). I've been sitting at the computer for about an hour and a half and I feel like I might fall over. School will not work this fall but this just means that I will be extra prepared when spring comes!

Mom and Sara and I think this is a spiritual attack. I am finally on the course that I believe God wants me to be on and Satan wants none of that. I've been adrift for 5 years and he much prefers me that way! Well this won't keep me down. I need to just rise to the occasion and keep in mind that all things are possible through Christ!